Why Not?

Featured image: Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Bal du Moulin de la Galette

Whenever I find myself sharing an elevator with strangers, I tend to look either at its closed doors or at the LED display that tells me how many floors I am to traverse before my destination arrives (and thus the chance of me making eye-contact with my co-passengers finally becomes zero). People who are not as socially awkward as me might not be behaving the exact same way, but their intra-elevatorial (yeah, I make up words at times) interactions aren’t exactly a far cry from mine.

A few days back, after getting out of an elevator, I had this apocalyptic moment (the word ‘apocalypse’ translated literally from Greek means ‘disclosure of knowledge’ or ‘revelation’ and not ‘the end of the world’, as is popularly believed) in which I realized what I had just done (or rather, not done) in there and also the fact that I had been behaving this way, unknowingly, ever since I remembered. The memory of this epiphany seemed to have been lost in the neural labyrinth that I call my brain…

… Until I watched a short film called ‘Cold’ yesterday. I won’t go into the details of this film, but I’d like to quote a few sentences from it here:

“Well, I just think what makes the city colder is the fact that we’re so busy trying to stay out of each other’s way.”

“There’d be a lot more people smiling in this city if there weren’t so much judgement being tossed around every ******* corner by some **** who thinks he’s the only one who has had it hard.”

“We’re so safe in everything we do- Hiding behind headphones and cellphones; stealing glances on the subway; sticking to what we know, who we know. God, do we ever stick to who we know. Maybe if we didn’t, we’d realize that we’re all a little lonely out here. Each of us is a little cold.”

After I was done watching Cold, I had a single question stuck in my head- Why don’t we smile more often? That seemed hard to answer, so I made the question more personal- Why don’t I smile more often? Answering that was relatively easy… I don’t want to be perceived as a creep who smiles at strangers; chances are, they won’t smile back; and nobody else smiles, then why should I?

Now, it’s your turn to ask yourself why you don’t smile at people in the elevator, during your morning walk, in the local train, at your gym and on tons of other occasions. I bet your answer will be similar to (if not the same as) mine.

We avoid smiling at others despite the fact that we (as in the entire human race) are wired to feel happier on smiling or on being smiled at. Why? Because we don’t want to be thought of as someone odd; we don’t want to be the black sheep of society; simply put, we are afraid of being judged.

Here’s a word of advice for you (as well as my own subconscious self)- Don’t give up being nice for the fear that people might judge you. They will judge. They might think you a freak for smiling at a stranger, but that isn’t going to change your intention behind that smile. As for the fear of nobody returning your gesture, let me make it clear- Most people do return a genuine smile. Some people don’t, but you feel good despite that; don’t know why, but I swear you do- just the way we’re programmed, I guess. It doesn’t matter if residents of your apartment building or people at your gym don’t find it normal; gradually, they will, thanks to you.

So the next time you find yourself staring at closed elevator doors, stop staring, look your fellow traveller in the eye and smile at them. Who knows, it might be their first pleasant human interaction of the day! I’m not telling you to go out of your way to grin at others or to beam during solemn occasions like funerals; all I’m asking you to do is to make your own and someone else’s day better without taking any extra efforts- it’s not hard at all! And while doing this, if the thought, ‘Why smile?’ tries to sneak into your head, just think, ‘Why not?”